My Musical Past

(San Francisco Symphony Youth Orchestra trombone section. Me, in the middle. I think this is in the Concertgebouw in Amsterdam)

Before I continue with this blog, I want to tell you the story of how I arrived here, today, as a musician.

I grew up in a house where everyone, my 4 siblings and I, all had to take weekly piano lessons. We weren't forced to practice, but we HAD to go to that piano lesson. Somehow, not making us practice usually meant that we were all fighting over the 1 piano in the house every day. I grew up in a devout LDS (Mormon) household, so I also went to church every Sunday, singing hymns often throughout the 3 hours of church.

When I reached 5th grade at my elementary school, we were given the option of playing in the band and learning a wind instrument. I'm still not sure why, but I was taken by the trombone (may have been the crush I had on my friend Kyle, who also played trombone).

My Mom sternly said that "the deal is you can play trombone as long as it doesn't cut into your piano playing time." I stuck with it, playing more and more when I got to middle school. I dabbled with the french horn, and, of course, the Euphonium (Holst Suite No. 2 in F, anyone?). I took some private lessons, and got more serious. I loved playing all kinds of music on trombone, in all sorts of ensembles.

By my sophmore year in high school, even after having endured more than a year of required participation in the school marching band, I was still in love with playing the trombone. By then, my piano playing had started to suffer greatly, but my Mom seemed to have forgotten the "deal" we made.

I participated in local California Band Association chamber/solo festivals and played in as many of my school ensembles as I could. My good friend and fellow trombonist, Nick, recommended that I start taking private lessons again, this time with a private instructor he had found. Tom had graduated from Eastman School of Music, and was a freelance trombonist in the San Francisco Bay Area, often subbing for San Francisco Symphony performances.

Tom took all my excitement for trombone and music, and taught me skills to make playing less frustrating for me, and listening in more enjoyable for others. He pushed me to audition for the San Francisco Symphony Youth Orchestra, and to start thinking about going to school for music.

I auditioned for SFSYO, got in, and had the most amazing ensemble experience I've had for the last two years I was in high school. I auditioned at various music schools, and chose to attend Northwestern University. When I went to Northwestern, I was so excited.

Then, the s**** hit the fan.

A lot of personal issues I had with time management, low self-esteem, and generally taking responsibility, came out in full force after I started my time as a music performance major at NU. On top of this, about halfway through the quarter, my teacher, Michael Mulcahy (2nd trombonist, Chicago Symphony Orchestra) had me do an embouchure change. I was suddenly back to square one, playing whole notes while staring at myself in the mirror, and it just didn't seem worth it anymore. I was down in the dumps in all of the areas of my life, and committing to being a musician was just not something I felt was right for me.

I stayed at NU, eventually becoming a religious studies major, and had an ok time doing humanities academics. As I entered my senior year, I had yet another crisis, realizing that I couldn't think of one thing I'd really like to do with my chosen major. I withdrew from my classes and soon after bought myself a cheap acoustic guitar and started teaching myself how to play.

I started to explore contemporary bands more, sometimes learning their music, and going to their shows. For all of 2009, I worked at the Northwestern University Library, in the Digital Collections Department, where I'd often help musicians create DVDs of their performances. I learned how to convert media into various digital formats, basics of audio editing and archival standards.

My girlfriend, Caitlin and I wanted a change--both of us had been in Chicago for a few years and wanted to move on. So, we moved to Las Cruces, New Mexico, where her parents live. After the move, we went on a road trip, and I made sure to pick up my trombone from my parents house in Provo, Utah.

I started practicing again, and it's been exhilarating and overwhelming at the same time. It's been about 4 months since I started to play again.  I'm hooked, and I just need to find some ensembles to participate in. I'm seriously considering going back to school for Music Performance, and have until next winter to prepare, apply and audition.

So, there you go. I know, this was probably more detail than seems necessary, but I think that as this blog develops, it will provide a context to understand why I want to discuss the various topics I'll bring to Trombonisms.

A New Start

I wanted to be a professional musician, I knew it...and then I quit. I was in my second quarter in the Northwestern University trombone department, and I didn't want to do it anymore. I think some combination of the stress of leaving home for the first time, a (for the first quarter) crippling embouchure change, an identity crisis, and feeling like a small fish in a big pond made me feel like being a musician was not for me.

Then, I spent 5 full years away from the trombone--I actually played about 5 times in those long 5 years. I missed it so much, and never found anything else I cared about quite so much as making music. So, I started practicing again after I moved from Chicago to Las Cruces, New Mexico.

My challenge is a great one: how to break into the music scene in a city where there isn't much of a "scene" of any kind...

Part of my issue is, also, that I have had terrible experiences with performance anxiety in my past life as a musician. It's something I think I can get over, with a healthy dose of confidence-boosting preparation and a healthy dose of helpful feedback.

That's where you come in. I need help. I need people from all kinds of backgrounds and with all kinds of knowledge, experience, and good-old-fashioned encouragement to listen in and talk back. On a regular basis, I'm going to record myself and post these recordings here. Content may range from a lip flexibility exercise on trombone (hopefully not too many of those...I understand that they aren't the pinnacle of entertainment) to a song I'll sing and accompany myself with guitar.

I want to be clear--I don't want this to be a one-way street. I plan to post plenty of information, resources and thoughts that may be interesting and ideally, even helpful. I don't want this to be a space merely for feeding my narcissistic tendencies. In my next post, I want to give you a little background about my life as a musician so there's some more context to my thoughts on this blog.